Greetings everyone.
I write to you from the sky above DenveAriNebrawho the hell knows where. I’m currently en route to Nashville from Los Angeles to start another tour for 3 weeks. The plane that I’m on only has 58 passengers so I decided to treat myself to an entire row. I threw my bag in the aisle seat and plopped down in the middle. My broad shoulders did the rest of the work while the occasional act of gagging flashed over my face to distract any curious onlookers. As the planes wheels so elegantly lifted to the sky I pulled a brown notebook from my bag that I frequently travel with. From time to time I write letters in this notebook that I never plan on sending. Just letters to myself, from myself, expressing my thoughts and emotions, asking questions, and remembering times that were happy, sad, or any combination of the two. Chances are these letters may have my favorite memories of you, things that you have said that have been encouraging or thoughts and dreams that we have shared together that have deeply resonated my inner being. On the first page of my notebook is a letter that I wrote around a year and a half ago about sacrifice and the role it plays in our life.
“My time on the road thus far has left me in deep contemplation of sacrifice and the role that it has in my life. Sacrifice has appeared to me in many forms; relationships at home have been sacrificed to further relationships on the road, cleanliness has been sacrificed so that the band can be on budget and on time, and I feel at times that life has been sacrificed for career advancement. The question that has frequently been crossing my mind is how much must one sacrifice of themselves before they sacrifice themselves entirely? To speak vaguely, when does too much of a good thing become a self-destructive bad thing?”
It’s interesting to think of these questions and think about the things that I’ve sacrificed for what I have. My career is advancing in so many different ways than I could have ever thought of. I feel very happy with where I am as a person and how comfortable I’ve become with myself. Although I do feel that my happiness is worth a large sum of sacrifice, I can’t help but question whether or not I’m sacrificing the right things for the right thing.
I feel that as of late I’ve made some very inappropriate sacrifices, which have left me distraught and unfocused on the things that matter most. “Through all of my thinking, I’ve developed quite a close relationship with the concept of sacrifice. I feel that love and sacrifice are two mutually reinforcing acts of grace and kindness. Ultimately, I’ve concluded that in order to give and receive love in the purest of manners, one must first sacrifice his/her greater goals for the greater goals of relationship.” These are words that still resonate with my soul and call me to refocus my sacrifices on things and those that matter most.
To those who are reading this, I miss you very dearly. I continually hope and pray that our love and sacrifice be mutually reinforcing to our relationship. May we continue to care for each other forever.
I love you. More than you will ever know.
